Mo Cheeks preemptively throws self under bus

By: A. Grady

Sixers coach Mo Cheeks beats his team to the punch.

In a brilliant tactical move, Philadelphia 76ers coach Maurice Cheeks threw himself under a bus yesterday before his team ever had the chance to do so themselves.  Sixers players were stunned by the news and were left scrambling to find a suitable scapegoat for their upcoming shitty season.  Some NBA execs have speculated that the move may even force the players to engage in such wild concepts as ‘taking responsibility’, ‘looking at themselves in the mirror’, ‘earning their money’ and the audacious ‘being a man’.

In a related story, the Detroit Pistons players, who threw coach Flip Saunders under a bus last spring, have kicked it up a notch this year.  Hernia sources have found out the current squad have hatched a scheme to throw their beleaguered coach under a speeding 18-wheeler with spiked tires, driven by the Undertaker.  Expect him to be flattened like a pancake no later than Christmas.

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