Hey, Pro Athletes That Point to the Sky, FUCK YOU!

What the hell are you doing?  This is a phenomenon that is sweeping the sports world, and I am a little confused.  Who the hell are you pointing to?

Alonzo Mourning keeps pointing at something.

Okay, I have heard some athletes say they are pointing to a family member that has passed away, may I ask why?  First off, that sucks about losing a family member, but get fucking real, why do you have to reference it every time you get a hit?   I have lost a family member and I don’t point to the sky every time I hit a 3 at the YMCA.  Do us all a favor and remember your family on your own time.

Then there are athletes that say they are pointing to God - are you fucking kidding me?  Do you honestly think God is watching you in the bottom of the third inning, no outs, no one on base and you hit a double?!  Do you really think he had a part in it?  People are being slaughtered in the thousands daily in Africa, don’t you think God has bigger fish to fry?  Are you that fucking egocentric?

I understand that there are a lot of religious people in sports, always thanking God for this and that, but news fucking flash, playing this sport is your job.  Do you hear about CEOs thanking God for last quarter’s profits?  Fuck no, you jackasses.  Your job is to get hits and get on base - do your job and shut the fuck up.  Which leads me to this: Why the fuck don’t you point to the sky when you make a nice play in the field? Can God only assist you with hitting?

When Albert Belle pointed to his bicep, that was a disgrace, but in retrospect, I like it, that makes sense.  He pointed to a muscle that blasted a home run off some poor pitcher that hadn’t discovered steroids yet.  This makes sense to me.  Tierry Henry should point to his right foot every time he scores a goal and Phil Mickelson should point at his bank statement every time he sees his wife.  It is cause and effect, God doesn’t assist you with the meaningless double in the third inning.

Previously in the F.U. Corner

"Hey Barbaro, Fuck You"

Letter to FU Corner

To FU Corner,

It is about time someone has realized this outrageous jester.  I am sick and freakin’ tired of jackasses pointing at me.  Where did these people learn manners, when I was a younger, I was taught that pointing is rude, period.

An appreciative Blue Sky responds to the FU Corner.

I swear, I can’t go a day without someone pointing to me for some lame ass achievement they just accomplished.  I mean if Al Roker wants to point to me when he correctly predicts a sunny day, fine, that makes sense, but when athletes do, I am like, “ Excuse me, do I know you? I didn't think so, so stop freaking pointing at me.  I don't know what you think is up here, 'cause I got news for you, there's NOTHING.  I've been up here a while now, like for eternity, and from what I can remember, I haven't bumped into God or Jesus or any of your dead relatives, so enough already.  You wanna point somewhere, point to the dirt, 'cause that’s where they are."

This really burns me up, so in return I throw out a freak thunderstorm, a horrible downpour to cancel a game.  Sometimes I move a cloud just in time so the sun glares in the eyes of an outfielder to make him miss a catch. Ahh, good times.

If there is one thing I know, don’t piss off things that are more powerful than you, and well I got news for you athletes, I will fall, fall right on top of your heads and nothing can save you - not God, not a dead relative, not even your $100,000 Hummer, you jackasses.

Sincerely,
The Blue Sky